Dreams

I've been dreaming a lot lately.  Very impractical dreams.

This morning I woke up and told Heath I had a dream in which we had just bought a new camera.  This might not be every girl's dream, but it sure is mine!  Last month I attended a photography conference in Vegas and had my hands on a beautiful new DSLR with an amazing lens to match.  I can't remember the rest of this morning's dream, but it also had something to do with my brother skydiving. (Trav, are you planning to jump out of airplanes instead of biking through Kansas?)

Yesterday I had a dream about church. Is it sacrilegious to have dreams about the communion bread being small french fries?  Note:  if this ever happens to you, make sure you wait to partake of the bread until the cup has been passed, otherwise you have nothing to dip into the ketchup. (And no, that's not what we had dinner the night before!)

The better (more redeeming?) part of yesterday's dream was when Heath leaned over in the church pew and told me to write a substantial amount on our offering check. We both smiled in thanksgiving that we could give back from what we had been given.  Oh, to dream big!

And yet, some dreams do come true.

Seven years ago I had a very distinct dream about marrying a tall man with brown hair, strong hands and smiling blue eyes.  In the dream we enjoyed life together with fun and laughter. At that time, I knew I hadn't met the man of my dreams, but now I know he was definitely worth the wait.  A week from today we will already celebrate our first year of marriage!

There are other dreams I have held close to my heart that are in the midst of coming true.  For years I have dreamed of owning a studio in which I could offer art therapy, counseling, spiritual direction, art workshops, and a family portrait session or two.  While the studio space isn't a reality yet, I am in the process of starting a private practice for counseling and spiritual direction.  I recently held my first spiritual formation art retreat. I feel both honored and excited to be doing these things now and can't wait to do more.

I am looking forward to more dreams, and I'll do my best to keep you posted.

Gumballs

Photo taken at Higher Grounds in Greeley

Lately I've been thinking about all the metaphors and phrases I use. If there's a word picture to be found, I'll grab it. I often talk about how counseling is like cleaning out your closet or healing an open wound. There are all sorts of parallels to be drawn.

Or, I've been known to discuss how "anger is almost always a secondary emotion." It's true. That might have to be a future post.

And then there are gumballs.

This analogy is really quite simple. The more you put in, the more you get out. Put in a quarter, get a gumball. Put in two quarters, get two gumballs.

I recently started my last semester at Denver Seminary. It's been a long but amazing journey. My first semester was in the fall of 2002. I had just finished a summer of travel to Boston, the coast of Maine, the Grand Canyon (road trip in a convertible), and topping it off with fragrant Hawaii. Even after all that travel, I was deeply searching for something more.

I knew I wanted to be a counselor. I also desperately wanted to grow. Both happened in beautiful and stretching ways.  But first, I needed to invest a few quarters.

My first round of seminary brought me through four years of textbooks, tests, mentoring, and internships.  Courses in theology, biblical interpretation, counseling, ethics and so much more taught me about my future profession. I also learned a lot through the art of living. During that time I worked in new jobs, traveled a bit more, and walked through the loss of my amazing and beautiful Grandma Nadine. Life was lived and learned.

Gumballs. I had gained so much.

Later, I decided to go back to seminary in the fall of 2008. Again, I had just returned from a trip. This time I had spent two weeks resting and adventuring in Kuwait and Dubai. The previous months of grief-laden work had brought more gumballs. And some big gooey bubbles.

And so started this next journey.  More classes, more reading, lots of reflection, tons of growth, and thankfully no tests. A good compliment to my Counseling degree, this one is called Christian Formation and Soul Care. I'll have to explain more later, but I'm excited about where this is leading.

As I face a stack of books and a bunch of deadlines, I'm incredibly excited for this last semester. I have a lot of work ahead, but I'm ready to invest some more quarters.

Life is tough. Sometimes it's a bit on the chewy side. But, oh those gumballs make it so sweet.

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(As a side note, I can't take credit for this analogy. I first learned it from a counselor named Rachel Haley who supervised me as an intern. Obviously, I continue to find it very useful.)

Dwelling place

I'm sitting at a quaint little coffee shop in downtown Greeley in the midst of some changed plans. Does that happen to you as much as it does to me?

I showed up to a meeting only to find out it had been canceled. As I drove off, I thought I would try a new plan. Instead of going immediately back home, I prayed... "Lord, how should I spend my time today?"

I remembered a nearby coffee shop that inspires creativity. It seemed like the perfect fit since my new and creative Bible study book just happened to be in my bag.

I've been blessed with a new group of women in Greeley. The slow but good process of getting to know them has blessed me. We've just started a book called Dwelling with Philippians. I love it! I'm sure I'll post more, but for anyone looking for a new approach to studying scripture, this is one to check out.

Off to do some dwelling and see what the Lord has for me this cold and sunny afternoon in Greeley...

Hair Therapy

Photo credit: Nina Aguirre :)

I've come to realize that a chair in a hair salon is very similar to the one in a therapist’s office. Some of us make appointments at the last minute, hoping for a much needed fix before things get really bad.  Others make regular appointments, wisely planning ahead for continual care.

Some haircuts are staged on the back porch with mom trying to avoid nicking an ear. Some haircuts are overpriced but in fancy, relaxing salons. Other haircuts are blunt and to the point- pull out the razor and get it done.  Counseling can be much the same way.

I’m finding so many similarities; although these might be more applicable for women since most men opt for the Super Cut special.  Or is there an analogy to be had? Not sure I’ll go there today…

When it comes to good counsel, some advice needs to be straight up and to the point. Some of the best therapy can happen on the back porch with a trusted companion. Occasionally, we need the extended session where we are guided through the transition.  Often times, continuing care is an important course.  

To bring the two together, hair stylists can be great counselors. When they are doing their job, through listening and asking good questions they help us to be more of ourselves. By keeping us on track, encouraging a new style, or walking us through a makeover we experience care along the way.  While I will never be a hairstylist, I’m so grateful to be a counselor.  I love watching others discover more of who they are and who God intended them to be.  I love to see healing, growth, and good change. I’m privileged to walk with others through their grief and loss.  I’m honored to be trusted with the inner struggles of the heart.

Haircuts, much like therapy, give us the hope of something better.

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Hair in reality is darker than it appears on camera!

For the record, these thoughts all came about because a week ago I went in for a haircut and a bit of change. For the first time in my life, I’m a brunette!  I’m still getting used to it, but have had lots of fun with the new color as I continue to grow my hair out (last summer I cut 8 inches off!).  P.S. Anyone looking for a new stylist-  let me know… Leslie is the best!  

New Notes for a New Year

"Forget the former things;

Do not feel on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I'm am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19










New Year's has always been one of my favorite holidays. I enjoy the fresh start, new beginnings, and especially knowing the daylight hours are getting longer again! 


This year, I know several loved ones who could use a fresh start. Last year was a rough year for many.  For me, it was a year filled with new joys and new sorrows.  It seems the toughest times are often watching those we love experience pain.  


For 2012 I'm looking forward to seeing how things will come together. I feel as though the Lord is stirring all kinds of ideas and dreams in my heart.  It has taken a time in the wilderness to strip away the old. At times my heart felt as though deep roots had been dug up and painfully pulled out.  Now, my heart feels ready for the flood of new, fresh, living water.  A stream in the desert.


A new song is forming in my heart.  


A journal entry from 2005 rings true again this year:


I feel both excited and scared; 
freed yet burdened 
because of the cost of my healing and the call of my heart. 
Big things are happening- huge things are in store.
I can't wait.

Christmas from the Pub

I love traditional Christmas songs and hymns (see my last post).  I also love new creative songs.

Here's a refreshing new Christmas song in an Irish-pub style. From Zac Hicks at Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church. Because you can't just listen once, I had to share...

Now, and Not Yet

I love Christmas hymns. Probably more than I like Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong… I love seeing family. I love Christmas lights. I love snowy nights and Christmas break. I love Christmas cookies, shopping for my family, decorating, and maybe this year getting kissed under the mistletoe. There are a lot of things I like about Christmas. 

The problem is, sometimes they get in the way of, well, Christmas.

I could use any number or catchy phrases about where our Christmas focus should be, but I think it’s better said in one of my favorite Christmas hymns:

O come, O come, Emmanuel
And ransom captive Israel
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan's tyranny
From depths of Hell Thy people save
And give them victory o'er the grave
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Day-Spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And death's dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, O come, Thou Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes, on Sinai's height,
In ancient times did'st give the Law,
In cloud, and majesty and awe.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.  

Did you hear it? Can you see it? Can you taste the weighted anticipation?  Can you feel the deep grief-laden expectation of a Savior?  The words seem heavy:  "ransom captive,” “lonely exile,” and “Satan’s tyranny.”

And yet, “Rejoice! Rejoice!”  There is joy in the coming Promise. Savior. Messiah. Emmanuel. God With Us.

This is why I love Christmas hymns so much. They are a reminder of Advent. Of Jesus’ arrival.  A reminder that He has already come, and the expectation that He will come again. The profound words above are still true.  This world still faces captivity, loneliness, exile, evil, tyranny, and mourning.  And yet we have hope.  He has come. He is here now. He is coming again, just not yet.

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.