Milestones

A milestone is a marker along a path that reminds you of how far you have come, and in some cases how far you have yet to go.  My sister Nina and I saw a lot of milestones this week as we drove to Kansas and back to visit the newest milestone in our family.  More on that in a minute.

I feel like we’ve just gone through a whirlwind of milestones.  Life is full of them really.  

We hit milestones at every turn.
The end of a school year.  The beginning of a new season.
A wedding.

This season has been especially full of milestones, which is perhaps why it’s been since Easter that I’ve written.  So, here’s my celebration of a few milestones from the past few months, a photo album of sorts…

Walking through the local Hallmark store I realized that they make their living on milestones.  This blog post has been on my mind for months, so I found their sign rather convenient. J

My thesis felt like an incredible milestone.  It had been in the works for the last few years.  It’s been a great feeling to have it done. My prayer is now about how to use it in the years to come. 
Some “art and soul care” projects are definitely in the works.

My baby sister graduated!  We celebrated our graduations one week apart: hers from Rock Canyon High School and mine from Denver Seminary.  I’m so proud of her!

My grandpa just celebrated his 85^th birthday.
I think we all enjoyed the chorus of sweet voices that helped him celebrate.

And perhaps the sweetest milestone of all is the birth of Benaiah Thomas Tesone. 
The sweet baby boy of my brother Travis and wife Ashley. We are all in love!

I am thankful for the milestones we look back on.
I am thankful for the milestones yet to come.
I love that we continue to celebrate the life we have been given.  

"My God, My God..."

A copy of the Pieta by Michelangelo

For our Good Friday Service at church tonight, there were seven of us asked to speak on the seven last words spoken by Jesus.  Here was my contribution:

Matthew 27:46 reads, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  We know that these were some of Jesus’ last words as he hung on the cross.

I was reminded that these are the same words David spoke in Psalm 22. He writes, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish?”

There are many times in life in which we feel forsaken by God.  Forsaken is likened to feeling deserted, abandoned, desolate, isolated…  We feel that we have been left to fend for ourselves. We feel very much alone. 

Have you ever felt forsaken?  Maybe you have been without a job for a very long time, or you found out your spouse has had an affair.  Maybe you have been waiting for years to even have a spouse.  Maybe you feel stuck in a pit of depression, or feel without hope in the midst of what feels like a mundane life. 

Sometimes we feel forsaken because of our sin.  More often, we feel forsaken because of our shame. 

Our sin separates us from God because we have stepped outside of the boundaries He has set for us.  As Christians, we know that forgiveness from Him restores us and sets us free.  The problem is, we often don’t believe we have been forgiven.  We may know it in our heads, but we don’t believe it in our hearts. 

You see, our shame gets in the way.  While our sin is based on the things we have done, shame is based on lies about who we are.  Shame messages permeate our thoughts, our beliefs, our actions, and our lives. 

When Jesus hung on the cross, he was separated from God because he carried our sin.  The sin in which he died for.  And it was this death that set us free.

Hebrews 12:2 says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him, endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

It’s important to know that Jesus died for our sins; our actions against him.  He did not die for the lies of shame we continue to believe. 

To read that verse again, it says, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him (Easter), he endured the cross (taking on all our sins), scorning its shame (he did not take on the lies we believe), and (then he) sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (emphasis added)

Are you feeling forsaken?  Ask the Lord to meet you there.  Are you believing shameful lies of the enemy?  Ask the Lord to show you how to be set free.  Our first step is to cry out, “My God, My God...”  And because of the cross, He will meet us there.

Dreams

I've been dreaming a lot lately.  Very impractical dreams.

This morning I woke up and told Heath I had a dream in which we had just bought a new camera.  This might not be every girl's dream, but it sure is mine!  Last month I attended a photography conference in Vegas and had my hands on a beautiful new DSLR with an amazing lens to match.  I can't remember the rest of this morning's dream, but it also had something to do with my brother skydiving. (Trav, are you planning to jump out of airplanes instead of biking through Kansas?)

Yesterday I had a dream about church. Is it sacrilegious to have dreams about the communion bread being small french fries?  Note:  if this ever happens to you, make sure you wait to partake of the bread until the cup has been passed, otherwise you have nothing to dip into the ketchup. (And no, that's not what we had dinner the night before!)

The better (more redeeming?) part of yesterday's dream was when Heath leaned over in the church pew and told me to write a substantial amount on our offering check. We both smiled in thanksgiving that we could give back from what we had been given.  Oh, to dream big!

And yet, some dreams do come true.

Seven years ago I had a very distinct dream about marrying a tall man with brown hair, strong hands and smiling blue eyes.  In the dream we enjoyed life together with fun and laughter. At that time, I knew I hadn't met the man of my dreams, but now I know he was definitely worth the wait.  A week from today we will already celebrate our first year of marriage!

There are other dreams I have held close to my heart that are in the midst of coming true.  For years I have dreamed of owning a studio in which I could offer art therapy, counseling, spiritual direction, art workshops, and a family portrait session or two.  While the studio space isn't a reality yet, I am in the process of starting a private practice for counseling and spiritual direction.  I recently held my first spiritual formation art retreat. I feel both honored and excited to be doing these things now and can't wait to do more.

I am looking forward to more dreams, and I'll do my best to keep you posted.

Gumballs

Photo taken at Higher Grounds in Greeley

Lately I've been thinking about all the metaphors and phrases I use. If there's a word picture to be found, I'll grab it. I often talk about how counseling is like cleaning out your closet or healing an open wound. There are all sorts of parallels to be drawn.

Or, I've been known to discuss how "anger is almost always a secondary emotion." It's true. That might have to be a future post.

And then there are gumballs.

This analogy is really quite simple. The more you put in, the more you get out. Put in a quarter, get a gumball. Put in two quarters, get two gumballs.

I recently started my last semester at Denver Seminary. It's been a long but amazing journey. My first semester was in the fall of 2002. I had just finished a summer of travel to Boston, the coast of Maine, the Grand Canyon (road trip in a convertible), and topping it off with fragrant Hawaii. Even after all that travel, I was deeply searching for something more.

I knew I wanted to be a counselor. I also desperately wanted to grow. Both happened in beautiful and stretching ways.  But first, I needed to invest a few quarters.

My first round of seminary brought me through four years of textbooks, tests, mentoring, and internships.  Courses in theology, biblical interpretation, counseling, ethics and so much more taught me about my future profession. I also learned a lot through the art of living. During that time I worked in new jobs, traveled a bit more, and walked through the loss of my amazing and beautiful Grandma Nadine. Life was lived and learned.

Gumballs. I had gained so much.

Later, I decided to go back to seminary in the fall of 2008. Again, I had just returned from a trip. This time I had spent two weeks resting and adventuring in Kuwait and Dubai. The previous months of grief-laden work had brought more gumballs. And some big gooey bubbles.

And so started this next journey.  More classes, more reading, lots of reflection, tons of growth, and thankfully no tests. A good compliment to my Counseling degree, this one is called Christian Formation and Soul Care. I'll have to explain more later, but I'm excited about where this is leading.

As I face a stack of books and a bunch of deadlines, I'm incredibly excited for this last semester. I have a lot of work ahead, but I'm ready to invest some more quarters.

Life is tough. Sometimes it's a bit on the chewy side. But, oh those gumballs make it so sweet.

--
(As a side note, I can't take credit for this analogy. I first learned it from a counselor named Rachel Haley who supervised me as an intern. Obviously, I continue to find it very useful.)

Dwelling place

I'm sitting at a quaint little coffee shop in downtown Greeley in the midst of some changed plans. Does that happen to you as much as it does to me?

I showed up to a meeting only to find out it had been canceled. As I drove off, I thought I would try a new plan. Instead of going immediately back home, I prayed... "Lord, how should I spend my time today?"

I remembered a nearby coffee shop that inspires creativity. It seemed like the perfect fit since my new and creative Bible study book just happened to be in my bag.

I've been blessed with a new group of women in Greeley. The slow but good process of getting to know them has blessed me. We've just started a book called Dwelling with Philippians. I love it! I'm sure I'll post more, but for anyone looking for a new approach to studying scripture, this is one to check out.

Off to do some dwelling and see what the Lord has for me this cold and sunny afternoon in Greeley...

Hair Therapy

Photo credit: Nina Aguirre :)

I've come to realize that a chair in a hair salon is very similar to the one in a therapist’s office. Some of us make appointments at the last minute, hoping for a much needed fix before things get really bad.  Others make regular appointments, wisely planning ahead for continual care.

Some haircuts are staged on the back porch with mom trying to avoid nicking an ear. Some haircuts are overpriced but in fancy, relaxing salons. Other haircuts are blunt and to the point- pull out the razor and get it done.  Counseling can be much the same way.

I’m finding so many similarities; although these might be more applicable for women since most men opt for the Super Cut special.  Or is there an analogy to be had? Not sure I’ll go there today…

When it comes to good counsel, some advice needs to be straight up and to the point. Some of the best therapy can happen on the back porch with a trusted companion. Occasionally, we need the extended session where we are guided through the transition.  Often times, continuing care is an important course.  

To bring the two together, hair stylists can be great counselors. When they are doing their job, through listening and asking good questions they help us to be more of ourselves. By keeping us on track, encouraging a new style, or walking us through a makeover we experience care along the way.  While I will never be a hairstylist, I’m so grateful to be a counselor.  I love watching others discover more of who they are and who God intended them to be.  I love to see healing, growth, and good change. I’m privileged to walk with others through their grief and loss.  I’m honored to be trusted with the inner struggles of the heart.

Haircuts, much like therapy, give us the hope of something better.

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Hair in reality is darker than it appears on camera!

For the record, these thoughts all came about because a week ago I went in for a haircut and a bit of change. For the first time in my life, I’m a brunette!  I’m still getting used to it, but have had lots of fun with the new color as I continue to grow my hair out (last summer I cut 8 inches off!).  P.S. Anyone looking for a new stylist-  let me know… Leslie is the best!  

New Notes for a New Year

"Forget the former things;

Do not feel on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I'm am making a way in the wilderness

and streams in the wasteland."

Isaiah 43:18-19










New Year's has always been one of my favorite holidays. I enjoy the fresh start, new beginnings, and especially knowing the daylight hours are getting longer again! 


This year, I know several loved ones who could use a fresh start. Last year was a rough year for many.  For me, it was a year filled with new joys and new sorrows.  It seems the toughest times are often watching those we love experience pain.  


For 2012 I'm looking forward to seeing how things will come together. I feel as though the Lord is stirring all kinds of ideas and dreams in my heart.  It has taken a time in the wilderness to strip away the old. At times my heart felt as though deep roots had been dug up and painfully pulled out.  Now, my heart feels ready for the flood of new, fresh, living water.  A stream in the desert.


A new song is forming in my heart.  


A journal entry from 2005 rings true again this year:


I feel both excited and scared; 
freed yet burdened 
because of the cost of my healing and the call of my heart. 
Big things are happening- huge things are in store.
I can't wait.